Committee of Pointless Committee Agendas: Foosball Table Safety

Agenda for the Meeting of the 14th of January, 2023

Present: Reginald P. Bottomsworth III, Esq., Committee Chair; 5 other esteemed members.

1. Introduction by the Chairman: Welcome, welcome, welcome! Today, we shall discuss the very real and pressing issue of Foosball table safety.

2. Item 1: Foosball Table Edge Sharpness

• Proposal 1: Mandate all Foosball tables have soft edges.
• Proposal 2: Install 4-foot tall, razor-thin, spinning blades on all tables for added excitement.

3. Item 2: Foosball Table Hygiene

• Proposal 1: Require all players to wear gloves while playing.
• Proposal 2: Ban all players with more than 2 weeks' worth of body odor.

4. Item 3: Emergency Response Procedures

• Proposal 1: In the event of a table-tilting, floor-clearing, or player-entanglement incident, call the Fire Department, then the Paramedics.
• Proposal 2: Simply shrug and pretend it's not a big deal.

Next Meeting: Burrito Safety

Related Committee: Tinfoil Ponies and Their Safety

Previous Meeting: Inflatable Unicorn Safety