Welcome, new members of the Committee for the Utterly Unproductive! In this chapter, we will cover the basic principles of doing nothing. This includes but is not limited to:
Mastering the art of staring blankly at a screen
Developing a keen sense of apathy towards deadlines
Perfecting the technique of 'just one more scroll' on your favorite social media platform
Chapter 2: Advanced Procrastination Strategies
Building upon the foundations laid in Chapter 1, in this chapter we will delve into more complex and intricate methods of achieving nothingness. These include:
Creating an elaborate system of excuses for not doing actual work
Designing an optimized schedule for binge-watching your favorite shows
Developing a comprehensive plan for playing video games during 'lunch breaks'
Chapter 3: The Dark Arts of Procrastination
For those who have mastered the basics and are seeking even greater challenges, this chapter will cover the more... unsavory aspects of the art. These include:
The art of manipulating others into doing your work for you
The science of crafting the perfect passive-aggressive email response