Minute of Silence | Subcommittee on Definitions

The subcommittee on definitions is convening to define the difference between progress and progress, which is not progress.

Chairperson, Senator Bureaucrat, has called for a moment of silence to consider the following definitions:

"Progress" is when you make a to-do list and check off all the things you've done, but forget to do the things on the list.
"Progress" is also when you move 0.5 inches to the right and then move 0.5 inches to the left, creating an illusion of movement.
"Progress" is not, however, when you stare at the wall for 4 hours and 23 minutes.

Recommendations

The subcommittee recommends that "progress" be redefined to include, but not limited to:

These definitions are not set in stone, but they are a good starting point for further debate.

Discussion will continue in 4 hours and 23 minutes.