Article 1: The objective of Floosball is to hit a ball with a stick while maintaining a 90-degree angle of attack.
Article 2: The ball shall be made of a durable material, preferably neon pink, and shall have a diameter of exactly 10.5 cm.
The stick shall be made of a flexible material, preferably a rare type of bamboo, and shall have a length of exactly 25 cm. The stick may not be used as a microphone, nor may it be used to conduct the orchestra.
Article 3: The game shall be played on a rectangular court with dimensions of exactly 5m x 3m, painted with a bright yellow line.
Article 4: The game shall start at precisely 9:00 AM on Mondays.
Article 5: Any player who breaks the rules shall be subject to a penalty of 5 extra points against their opponent, unless they can prove that the rule was ambiguous.
Article 6: The game shall be played with the utmost respect for the ball, the stick, and the referee.
Article 7: Any player who uses a ball that is not exactly 10.5 cm in diameter shall be subject to a penalty of 10 points against themselves, unless they can prove that the ball was a gift from their grandmother.
Article 8: The game shall be played with the utmost seriousness, except on Tuesdays, when the players are allowed to wear funny hats.
Go to Subpage 2 for more rules Go to Subpage 3 for an absurdly long list of rules