Mascot Rules

As a symbol of our committee's utter lack of productivity, we have established these rules for our official mascot, "Bureaucrap" the bureaucratic hamster:

• Rule 1: Bureaucrap must be dressed in a three-piece suit at all times, with a tie and a briefcase.
• Rule 2: Bureaucrap's wheel of fortune must be turned daily, even on weekends, holidays, and in the middle of the night.
• Rule 3: All committee members are required to feed Bureaucrap exactly 7.5 almonds per meeting, or face a fine of $10.
• Rule 4: Bureaucrap's hamster wheel must be placed on a raised platform at least 3 feet off the ground, lest he be distracted by the majesty of the ceiling tiles.

These rules are subject to change at any time, without notice, or for no reason at all. Don't bother asking why. Just do it.