Committee Report 1: The Mozzarella Task Force
In a shocking turn of events, our committee has discovered that the mozzarella supply has reached critical levels of stringiness.
Our team of experts (a panel of 5 people who still live with their parents) have been tasked with investigating the root cause of this crisis.
After weeks of intense deliberation, we present to you our findings:
- We have determined that the mozzarella supply is not, in fact, the problem.
- The real culprit is the over-reliance on pineapple as a topping.
- We recommend an immediate ban on pineapple as a topping in all committee meetings.
Recommendations for further action:
- Establish a task force to investigate the psychological effects of pineapple on pizza consumers.
- Develop a comprehensive plan to educate the general public on the dangers of pineapple.