Procrastination Strategies Committee
Our esteemed committee has been tasked with finding new and creative ways to do absolutely nothing.
Dusty Sandwiches
Our latest research suggests that staring at a half-eaten sandwich can be a highly effective method of procrastination. We have conducted extensive studies (in our minds, while staring at the sandwich) and found that:
- Staring at a sandwich for 4 minutes and 23 seconds increases productivity by 0%.
- Staring at a sandwich for 9 minutes and 11 seconds increases productivity by -5%.
- Staring at a_goals sandwich for 14 minutes and 19 seconds increases productivity by -10%.
These results are preliminary and may be subject to change based on the type of sandwich, the quality of the cheese, and the presence of a refrigerator nearby.
We are currently seeking more funding to continue this vital research. Please donate a sandwich to support our work.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, you could try hacking a sandwich to see how long you can make it last.