Nap Tastic Procrastination Strategies

By John the Browser

Are you tired of actually accomplishing anything? Do you find yourself constantly clicking "refresh" on your browser, hoping to stumble upon a new, exciting distraction? Well, you've come to the right place! Here are some expertly-crafted procrastination strategies, carefully designed to waste your precious time.

Strategy #1: Nap Prophets

Nap prophets are like regular prophets, but instead of predicting the future, they predict exactly when you'll fall asleep. Their crystal ball-like abilities are unmatched, and their prophecies are always correct... until you actually do something productive.

Strategy #2: Time-Traveling Nap Time

Using a combination of advanced physics and pure, unadulterated luck, you can travel back in time to a period when your ancestors were also expert procrastinators. Watch as they struggle to do even the simplest tasks, and learn from their mistakes... or not.

Strategy #3: Algorithmic Napping

Write an infinite loop that runs a series of increasingly absurd tasks, each one more mind-numbing than the last. Before you know it, you'll have spent hours staring at a screen, wondering why your computer won't just... just do it.