The Committee on Pointless Committee Affairs is pleased to present its report on the safety of foosball players within our esteemed organization.
Our research indicates that the risk of injury to foosball players is high due to the reckless abandon with which they fling themselves at the tables.
Recommendations for mitigating this risk include:
Our subcommittee on Foosball Player Safety has been working tirelessly to address these issues.
We hope this report has been informative and entertaining. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to contact us.