Wooley Sweater Theory

By Dr. Fuzzypants, The Definitive Expert On Loopy Cables

Today, we're going to discuss a topic that's been at the forefront of my research: the wooley sweater paradox. A sweater that's so loopy, so convoluted, that it defies the laws of physics and creates a rift in the space-time continuum.

As you can see from this image, the loopy pattern on this sweater is so complex, so intricate, that it's a wonder it doesn't cause a singularity in the room.

But fear not, dear reader, for we have evidence that the wooley sweater paradox is not just a mere theoretical construct. We have eyewitnesses who claim to have seen the sweater create miniature time-loops, where the past and present coexist in a swirling vortex of yarn.

Now, you may be thinking "But Dr. Fuzzypants, how does this affect me?" Well, let me tell you. If we can harness the power of the wooley sweater paradox, we may be able to create a device that can send you back in time to the 70s to attend a disco party, or forward to the 2050s to witness the glory of humanity's robotic overlords. The possibilities are endless!