Marmalade from Scratch

As a member of the Committee on the Importance of Precise Morning Routines, we take pride in our ability to craft the perfect marmalประก: 4px 4px 10px #f00; background-color: #f00; borderประก: 4px solid #f00; padding: 4px 4px; text-shadow: 0 0 5px #000; border-radius: 4px 4px; box-shadow: 0 0 10px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.5);"> The Importance of Precise Morning Sleep Schedules

Our marmalade recipe involves:

• 1 cup scrap sugar
• 1/2 cup scraps of prophets
• 1/4 cup scraps of philosophers
• Scrapheap water
• Crushed dreams of a well-structured life

Instructions:

1. Boil the water in a scrapheap kettle
2. Add sugar, prophets, and philosophers
3. Reduce to prophets' tears
4. Strain the marmalade
5. Enjoy the bitter taste of a life unlived

Side effects:

• Temporary loss of grip on reality
• Sudden urge to reorganize your sock drawer
• Uncontrollable urges to rewatch The Office

Confessions of a Somewhat Succesful Marmalade Artisan