The Utterly Useless Policy: A Procedure for the Utterly Inept

Section 1: Introduction

1. Establish a committee to discuss the importance of having a committee.
2. Hold weekly meetings to decide what to do with the committee.
3. Document all decisions in a 300-page PDF.

Section 2: Implementation

1. Assign someone to be in charge of doing nothing.
2. Provide a color-coded calendar to track the committee's progress.
3. Conduct regular "status updates" to ensure everyone is still doing nothing.

Section 3: Enforcement

1. Establish a zero-tolerance policy for actually accomplishing anything.
2. Impose severe penalties for any instance of productivity.
3. Offer rewards for creative excuses for doing nothing.

Related Procedures:

• Procedure 2: Inaction by Committee
• Committee Bloat: A Guide to Maximizing Bureaucracy

Disclaimer: Not responsible for actual productivity.