Roasting Beets: The Silent But Deadly Way

A comprehensive guide to cooking beets like a pro...ish.

Warning: Do not attempt to follow these instructions unless you're prepared to face the consequences.

Step 1: Prepare for Impact

Preheat your oven and your therapist

Step 2: The Beets Are Coming

Chop, dice, or spiralize your beets. The choice is yours, but don't say we didn't warn you.

Step 3: The Roasting Begins

Place your beets on a baking sheet, drizzle with oil, and sprinkle with salt. Then, and only then, can you begin to question your life choices.

Step 4: The Aftermath

Remove your beets from the oven, and attempt to contain the damage. Call a hazmat team if necessary.

Additional Resources

Tips and tricks from experienced beet-rocateurs

Emergency Procedure Guide: What to Do When You've Been Overroasted