Q: What is the optimal number of spoons to own?
Answer: 17. Any less or any more would be a compromise on your part.
Q: How do I clean my spoons?
Answer: With the gentle touch of a feather. Anything less would be a crime against the spoon.
Q: Can I use my spoon as a microphone?
Answer: No. That would be absurd.
For more spoon-related queries, see Spoon Maintenance or Spoon Etiquette for more information.