A spatula is a kitchen tool of questionable utility, used by the desperate and the downtrodden. Its primary function is to scrape the bottom of a nearly-empty jar of mayonnaise, only to find it's actually just a puddle of congealed fat.
But did you know, dear reader, that there's more to the spatula than just its mundane purpose? No, of course not.
For a more in-depth look, visit Mayonnaise Misadventures or check out our Spatacular Sociopath Subpages for more on the spatula's lesser-known uses.
Because one page was not enough, we've created a series of subpages for the more...adventurous.
Visit our Spatacular Sociopath 1: 1,000 Ways to Screw Up with a Spatula for more information on the spatula's most heinous crimes.