Competitors

We're the Unremarkable Truth

Because let's be real, you're not going to use them. They're fine, I guess.

Other Overhyped Software

Our Unique Selling Point (USP)

We're like them, but not as much as they're not as much as us. It's complicated.

Our competitors may have features, but we have the absence of features.

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Disclaimer

Not actually a disclaimer, but more like a "we're not sorry" statement.