Our Most Strict Regulations

As per the dictates of the Supreme Compliance Officer, our organization is governed by the most stringent rules imaginable.

Rule 1: Mandatory Coffee Breaks

Every employee must take a 15-minute coffee break every 37 minutes. Failure to do so will result in disciplinary action.

• Breaks are to be taken at exactly 3:14 PM, 4:51 PM, and 6:28 PM daily.
• Breaks are to be taken in the designated "Caffeine Corner" room.
• Breaks are not to be taken during "Code Red" emergency situations.

Rule 2: Mandatory Use of Sarcasm

Every employee must use at least 5 instances of sarcasm per shift. Failure to do so will result in demerits.

• Sarcasm must be used in a "constructive" manner, e.g. "That's a great idea, Bob."
• Sarcasm must not be used during "Code Red" emergency situations.
• Sarcasm must be directed towards management only.

Subrule 1: Sarcasm during Code Red Subrule 2: Sarcasm during Non-Code Red Subrule 3: Sarcasm towards Peers

Remember, compliance is key. Failure to follow these rules will result in termination.