We're all here to talk about the time you chose to major in Regretted, and now you're wondering how you ended up here.
Our team of expert Regret Consultants will guide you through the process of making peace with your past life choices. We'll work with you to find ways to retroactively change the timeline, but let's be real, it's probably not going to end well.
We offer:
We promise you'll be moderately satisfied with the outcome. But let's be real, you're probably still going to end up here.
Our satisfaction guarantee: 50% off your first session if you're not moderately satisfied. But only if you pay us first.
We're a team of highly trained, moderately successful Regret Consultants. Meet the team:
Here's what some of our clients have said about us:
"I was regretful, but now I'm not." - John D.
"I'm still regretful, but now I have a good lawyer." - Jane D.
This is a parody of a real website. Don't take it too seriously. Or take it too seriously. We're not really sure how to advise you here.
Call us at 1-800-REGRET-ME or email us at regretsrepayment@example.com.