When you're a developer, there are always going to be things that don't go right. But don't worry, here are some advanced excuses for the inept:
1. I'm not a developer, I'm a UX Designer. My job is to make the code look pretty, not make it function.
2. I've already written the code, I just haven't deployed it yet. It's in the "I'll get to it eventually" queue.
3. The requirements are subject to change... every 10 minutes.
4. I've optimized the code, but it's not optimized for the current situation.
5. The server is down, and I'm not responsible for the server.
6. The user is just nitpicking. Who cares what they think?
7. The code is not broken, it's just adventuresomely configured.
8. I forgot to write the code. It's a work in progress.
9. I accidentally deleted the code. Whoops?