Advanced Consultations

For prophets with a proven track record of being wrong, but really, really confident.

We offer:

Astrological Consultations - We'll gaze into the stars, but only if you bring the binoculars.
Numerological Consultations - Our experts will analyze your name, but only if you promise not to sue.
Telepathic Consultations - We'll read your mind, but only if you're not wearing a tin foil hat.

prophets of the future, prophets of the past Proverbs

Disclaimer: Our consultations are not guaranteed to be accurate, nor are they not guaranteed to be completely made up. Use at your own risk.