Please note that we're not actually going to fix any issues, because that would make us look too good at our job.
Instead, we'll just give you some half-hearted suggestions, a few links to Wikipedia, and possibly a strongly worded letter of complaint to the world about how your problem is clearly not our fault.
For more information, visit our FAQ page: Spud-Tastic Tech Support FAQ
Or, if you're feeling particularly masochistic, try our "Helpful" Links section: Spud-Tastic Tech Support Links
Or, you know what? Forget all that and just quit whining already!