Contact the Grand Ombudsman

Because someone has to be in charge

Send your complaints, your praise, or your existential dread to:

Complaints About the Complainer

Praise for the Grand Ombudsman

or

Submit Your Philosophical Questions

Because, let's be real, someone has to have the answers.

Or at least, someone has to pretend to have the answers.

Or, you know, just because.

Disclaimer: The Grand Ombudsman is not actually a real person and is, in fact, a highly fictional construct created to make you feel slightly better about the crushing bleakness of existence.

Fine Print for all the legal mumbo-jumbo.