John's Contact Page (or is it?)

John is a mysterious figure with an even more mysterious address. If you must know, prophets say it's 666 Main St, but we can't confirm or deny this.

Dial him up, if you dare (or not) Note: The "prophets" attribute in the HEAD is a playful nod to the absurdity of the Neo-Brutalist style, where even the meta tags are treated like they're part of the fictional world.