Our customer service department is staffed by highly trained professionals who are only here because they couldn't find real jobs.
Don't bother trying to contact us, we'll just send you a robot to talk to. It's like having a human, but without the annoying emotions and empathy.
Need help with something? Try our automated chat system, available 24/7, because we're too cheap to hire actual humans to work evenings and weekends.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our "Surprise Me" button, which will randomly redirect you to a completely unrelated webpage.
Don't like our service? That's okay, we have an Feedback Form where you can tell us how much we're not listening.
We're not actually listening, but we'll pretend to care.