Here at John's Legal Fees, we specialize in the art of making you pay us for doing nothing. Our team of highly trained, highly paid lawyers will work tirelessly to ensure that you pay us as much as humanly possible for services you didn't ask for, and probably didn't even need in the first place.
Our fees are calculated using a complex algorithm that takes into account the number of syllables in your name, the amount of time you've spent reading this page, and the color of your socks today. Don't worry, it's all perfectly normal.
Some of our services include (but are not limited to):
- Reading letters from your aunt about the importance of wearing clean socks.
- Telling you that yes, you do have to pay for that thing, and no, you can't just ignore it and hope it goes away.
- Charging you an extra 5% fee for using a pen to sign your name.
Want to see our Fees Page for more information on our pricing structure.