contact the elders

we have a team of expert geriatric ninjas who will infiltrate your grandma's basement and steal back your keys.

our services include:

geriatric ninja infiltration

key retrieval specialists

granny sitting services

elders-only social media management

all services are available for a low flat fee of $100.00 per hour. additional fees apply for any additional services, including but not limited to:

burial fee

sarcastic fee