Containment Status: Subpage 30

Maximum Secrecy Achieved

We have reached the pinnacle of secrecy. All information within this subpage is encoded with the most advanced encryption methods known to humanity.

However, due to a freak accident involving a toaster and a can of sardines, we are experiencing a 30-minute delay in decrypting the data.

Please stand by for further updates. Or don't. We won't tell you.

Proceed with Caution: Subpage 31