Step 1: Prepare for Crumbliness

Put on your best 'I'm a functioning member of society' face. You know, the one where you pretend to be interested in the mundane.

Also, make sure you have a solid cookie-to-soda-ratio in your pantry. 3:1 is a good starting point.

Step 2: Handle Crumbliness

When confronted with a crumbliness situation, remain calm. Breathe deeply, and try not to think about the impending doom of your cookie supply.

Engage in soothing activities, like staring at a wall or playing the harmonica with a spoon. This will help you reach a state of cookie-induced zen.

Now that you've reached a state of cookie-induced nirvana, it's time to reflect on your actions.

Ask yourself: 'Did I really need to buy those 12 dozen cookies, or was I just tryingประก: to feed my inner cookie monster?'

If the crumbliness has taken a toll on your mental health, it's time to seek help.

Find a trusted therapist, like a cookie-loving priest, who can guide you throughประก: the process of recovery.