Cookie Crisis FAQ

Q: What is the Cookie Crisis?

A: The Cookie Crisis is a global pandemic of burnt, overbaked, or just plain terrible cookies.

Q: How do I contract the Cookie Crisis?

A: Simply bake a batch of your least favorite cookie recipe, then stare at it for exactly 4 hours and 22 minutes without taking a bite. You will soon feel a strange, creeping dread in the pit of your stomach, followed by the urge to devour the entire kitchen.

Q: What are the symptoms of the Cookie Crisis?

A: The Cookie Crisis presents with a range of symptoms, including but not limited to:

• Excruciating cravings
• Intense stomach pain
• Aversion to all non-cookie foods and beverages
• Despair and hopelessness

Q: How do I treat the Cookie Crisis?

A: Treatment options include but are not limited to:

• Baking a batch of emergency cookies to calm the crisis
• Seeking out a cookie-free support group
• Engaging in extreme cookie-themed sports, such as Cookie Jousting or Cookie Wrestling
• Prayer to the Cookie Gods

For more information, visit our Subpage 3 for a list of recommended cookie-based coping mechanisms.