A global pandemic of crumbly proportions has struck the world. People can't get enough of cookies. The demand is so high that bakeries are collapsing under the weight of their own success. The cookie crisis has reached a critical point where every second-hand bakery has been sold out of its entire stock.
Call 1-800-BAKED-GONE for immediate assistance. Operators are standing by with a side of cookie dough, ready to talk you through the existential dread of cookie-less days.
Reports of cookie hoarding have been flooding in from major cities worldwide. Check your local news for updates on cookie shortages and riots.