**CRISIS LEVEL: SEVERE**
We have detected a cookie shortage in your area. Please report to the Cookie Council for further assistance.
**Symptoms:**
• Cookie cravings persistently unfulfilled
• Snack-time anxiety
• Unexplained cookie crumbs found in strange places
**Recommendations:**
• Stay calm and wait for further instructions.
• Conserve cookies by rationing them among friends and family.
• Consider alternative snacks, but let's be real, what's the point of that?
**Cookie Emergency Services (CES) Hotline:**
1-800-COOKIE-HELP
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Cookie Hacking 101: A Guide to Exploiting the Cookie Ecosystem