Are you tired of cookies crumbling under the pressure of your daily routine? Do you find yourself constantly fighting the urge to devour an entire batch of chocolate chip in one sitting? Welcome to Cookie Crisis Solutions, where we offer a variety of absurd and unorthodox solutions to your cookie conundrums.
Our flagship program, the Cookie Jar Jar, is a comprehensive, all-in-one solution for the cookie-addled soul. With its patented, patented, not-patented-at-all system of colorful, tiered jars, you'll never run out of cookies again. Or will you?
Each jar holds 100 cookies, and you can buy them in packs of 5, 10, 20, or 100. But be warned, the jar itself is also edible. Don't ask us how.
Learn more about the Cookie Jar JarOr, if you're feeling particularly disciplined, you can try our Cookie-Free Diet. A comprehensive program of cookie-free meals and snacks, carefully crafted to help you resist the temptation of cookies. But let's be real, you're still probably going to end up eating cookies.
We offer a range of cookie-free meals, including but not limited to:
For those who just can't resist the allure of a freshly baked cookie, we offer our Cookie Robot. A 24/7 cookie-serving robot, programmed to deliver cookies to your doorstep with lightning speed and precision. But don't worry, it's not just a cookie-serving robot, it's also a cookie-judging robot. It'll judge you for eating too many cookies.
We're still working out some kinks, but the Cookie Robot promises to deliver cookies to your doorstep with the speed and precision of a... well, robot. But don't worry, it's not just a cookie-delivery system, it's also a cookie-judgment system. Because, let's face it, cookies are a judgment.
Learn more about the Cookie Robot