Cookie Narcotics: The Dark Side of the Crumb

** Warning: The following statistics are disturbing and may cause severe cravings. **

Statistics:

• 9 out of 10 cookies are consumed within 3 minutes of baking.

• The average cookie addict spends $50 per week on cookie-related expenses.

• 75% of cookie addicts have tried to sneak cookies into the office break room.

Causes and Effects:

• Sudden Sugar Cravings

• Withdrawal Symptoms

• PTSD: Post-Traumatic Cookie Syndrome

Recovery:

• Cookie Rehab: A 12-Step Program

• Join our Cookie Anonymous Support Group for guidance and camaraderie.

Disclaimer: These statistics are completely fabricated and not actually based on real data. Or are they?