Experiment 4: Cookie Chemistry

In which we attempt to synthesize a cookie that is simultaneously crunchy and chewy.

Methodology

Step 1: Mix 2 cups of flour with 1 cup of sugar in a large bowl.

Step 2: Add 1/2 cup of butter, softened to a state of near-meltdown, and mix until a dough forms.

Step 3: Stir in 1/4 cup of crushed up rock candy and 1/4 cup of glittering fairy dust.

Step 4: Knead the dough for 27 minutes and 32 seconds.

Step 5: Place on baking sheet lined with 10 layers of velvet.

Step 6: Sprinkle with edible gold dust and bake at 350 degrees for 14 minutes and 21 seconds.

Step 7: Insert into a cookie-press to achieve the perfect ratio of crunch to chew.

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Results

After 27 minutes and 32 seconds of kneading, our cookie-press achieved a 4.7:1 ratio of crunch to chew, exceeding our predicted 3:1 ratio.

The cookies were then served to a panel of expert judges, who declared them "edible, but not in a good way."

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