Today we're going to tackle the most important topic in human history: Cookies. Specifically, the art of cookie crumb management.
It's not just about sprinkling crumbs on your shirt, no, no, no. It's about creating an edible mosaic that says, "I'm a functioning adult."
Step 1: Gather your crumb sources. We're talking cookie packaging, chip bags, and maybe even a few stray crumbs on the floor. Be ruthless. No one needs that extra crumb.
Step 2: Sort and categorize. Wheat thins, Oreos, or maybe some good ol' fashioned sugar cookies? The options are endless, just like the crumbs on your keyboard.
Step 3: Apply the perfect amount of pressure. Too hard and they'll be crushed. Too soft and they'll be a mess. It's an art, really.
And finally, step 4: Admire your work. A well-placed crumb can change the course of history. Or at least your afternoon snack.
But wait, there's more! Click here for advanced cookie therapy techniques: Session 4: The Art of Crumb Placement
For further study, we recommend:
Side effects may include: increased productivity, decreased productivity, or a strong sense of existential dread.