You Have Been Subscribed to Our Sinister Schemes

By clicking "subscribe" you have agreed to receive a daily dose of our carefully crafted ads, carefully designed to ruin your life. You will receive:

• Discounts on questionable life choices
• Recommendations for the most overpriced, unnecessary products
• Opportunities to relive your most embarrassing moments

Don't worry, it's not like we'll ever use your email address for anything nefarious. Read our terms of service for more info.

Subscribe to our newsletter and abandon all hope