Step 5: Because you're still reading this, you must be desperate for a decent meal without the effort. Here's a trick to make a half-decent pizza without getting off the couch:
Grab some pre-shredded mozzarella, because who needs actual cheese?
Spread it on a pizza base, because who needs actual dough?
Step 6: Add a can of 'za sauce and some pre-cooked pepperoni, because cooking is hard, man. Buy a real pizza, because let's be real.