Our patented, utterly ineffective treatments:
- Pharmaceutical Solutions - Because what could possibly go wrong with more pills?
- Mind-Control Apps - For those who can't be bothered to think for themselves.
- Reality Distortion Therapy - We'll make you forget your problems, but not the bill for this.
- Panic Room Rentals - Because who needs human interaction, anyway?
Side effects may include: increased anxiety, decreased productivity, and spontaneous combustion.