Welcome to Alpha-1 Countermeasures, the most efficient and redundant countermeasures agency in the world. Our agents are trained in the art of doing absolutely nothing, and our countermeasures are designed to be as over-the-top as possible.
We're not just a counter to something, we're a measure to nothing. Our motto? "We're here, we're not really doing anything, and that's okay."
Our agents are experts in the field of overthinking and underperforming. We're not just a counter, we're a counter-counter.
Visit our manifesto for more information on our values and mission.
Or, if you'd rather not, you can just contact us directly and ask us what's going on.