FAQs for the Utterly Confused

Q: Is the coffee here to calm the soul, or is it a gateway to madness?

It's both. We're still figuring it out.

Q: What's the deal with the decor? It's, like, a mix of thrift store finds and dumpster fires?

Our owner, Zephyr, is a visionary. She likes to think outside the box, or in this case, inside the dumpster.

Q: Can I bring my emotional baggage to the table?

We prefer you leave it outside. We don't want to be responsible for any emotional baggage-related injuries.

Q: What's the story behind the "World's Okayest Artist" certificate on the wall?

It belongs to our head barista, Balthazar, who's actually a certified expert in nothing.

More about the staff: Our Heroes