Beige-Butter-Blandness: The Art of Cooking for the Apathetic

Warning: This recipe will cure your soul with a lack of excitement.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup Beige-Butter-Blend (available at your local health food store)
• 2 cups Plain White Flour
• 1/4 cup Sugar (or 3/4 cup of nothing, we won't judge)
• 1/2 teaspoon Salt
• 1/4 teaspoon Blandness Powder (patent pending)

To make Beige-Butter-Blandness, combine ingredients in a bowl. Mix until just mixed. Serve on a plain plate. Garnish with a sprinkle of nothing.

Optional: Add a dash of disappointment. Stir clockwise for 3 seconds to enhance the experience.