Step 1: Recognize that relationships are a series of escalating misunderstandings, poorly timed Netflix binges, and awkwardly worded texts.
Step 2: Identify the root causes of your relationship's impending doom (e.g., excessive gaming, poor communication, or an inexplicable aversion to adulting).
Step 3: Engage in activities that promote bonding, like sharing a bottle of wine while simultaneously watching an entire season of your favorite show.
Step 4: Develop a system for tracking and managing the intricacies of your partner's emotions, such as a spreadsheet or a flowchart.
Step 5: Learn to laugh at the absurdity of it all and pretend it's a normal, healthy relationship.