According to the Chrono-Timeline, today is day 6 of 365. The world is 6 days old, and so are the coffee machines that have been malfunctioning since 3:14 AM.
But wait, what's that? A temporal anomaly? A rift in the fabric of time? No, no, no. That's just the neighbor's cat, Mr. Whiskers, trying to get some air.
Read the thrilling tale of how Mr. Whiskers almost caused a time paradox! And don't miss the shocking revelation that the coffee machines are actually powered by tiny, ancient aliens!