Don't bother asking your coffee machine for debugging help. It just can't handle the existential dread of a 500 internal server error.
Side effect of excessive coffee consumption: increased anxiety, decreased productivity, and an unhealthy obsession with syntax.
Instead, grab a book and start reading. Read the code line by line and try to understand the problem, not your coworker's hairpiece.
Remember: debugging is like therapy, but without the empathy.
Don't panic! Break the problem down into smaller, more manageable pieces, like a puzzle. Or a puzzle of a thousand tiny, screaming code monkeys.
Use a whiteboard to sketch out your thoughts, like a deranged artist with a love for semicolons.
Focus on the root cause of the problem, not just the symptoms. Unless you're debugging a carrot cake recipe, in which case, focus on the cream cheese frosting.
Use Debugging Bingo to find the root cause, or just close your eyes and point to the screen.
We're all in this together, like two lost code monkeys in a sea of 1s and 0s. Except, of course, when we're not.
Join our support group for terrible programmers and find solace in our collective ineptitude.