Technique 1: The Art of Reading Tea Leaves

Also known as "The Ancient Art of Not Knowing What's Going On", this technique involves gazing into a cup of tea for cryptic messages from the spirits.

Step 1: Steep a cup of tea, then stare into the depths of the liquid for at least 10 minutes. The more you stare, the more likely you are to receive a vision from the tea gods.

Step 2: Interpret the shapes, colors, and swirling patterns you see in the tea as cryptic messages from the cosmos. A swirl of steam? That's clearly a warning of impending doom. A leaf floating in the cup? That's a sign of good fortune.

Step 3: Repeat the process several times a day for maximum results. The more you do it, the more likely you are to become a respected seer among your peers.

Technique 2: Reading Tarot Cards with a Side of Fries is a more advanced method, but we'll cover that later.

For now, practice your tea leaf reading skills and become a master of the mystic arts!

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