Muddle Symptoms: A Guide to Confusing Everyone

Step 3: Clarify, Sort Of

You've reached Step 3 of our What Happens If You Forget the Point series. Congratulations!

In this step, we'll cover the art of clarifying your symptoms in a way that makes your therapist's eyes roll into the back of their head. It's a delicate dance of confusion and miscommunication.

Download the Muddle Symptoms Cheat Sheet to get started.

Muddled Symptoms 101

Here are some classic muddled symptoms to get you started:

• Existential dread, but only on Tuesdays
• Randomly forgetting your pants, but only when nobody's looking
• A sudden urge to eat an entire pizza by yourself, but only after watching cat videos

Advanced Muddling Techniques

Take your muddled symptoms to the next level with these expert tips:

• Mumble your way through conversations, just to see how long it takes for people to realize you're not making sense
• Use a Ouija board to diagnose yourself, because why not?
• Practice your "symptom-folding" technique: fold your symptoms in half, then in half again, and repeat until you're not sure what's real anymore

Remember, the goal of muddling is to confuse, not to be confused. Or is it?