In a shocking turn of events, the Temporal Trading Commission (TTC) has decided to arbitrate the timeline.
The TTC, a mysterious organization with ties to the Illuminati, has been secretly manipulating events throughout history to create a utopian timeline.
Decision 7: Temporal Arbitration is a bold move, as it seeks to eliminate all free will and replace it with a deterministic, algorithmic approach to decision making.
**Side effects may include:** Confusion, disorientation, and spontaneous outbursts of temporal awareness.
**Consult your local Time Traveler's Insurance Agent for more information.
**Do not attempt to alter your own timeline, as this may result in unintended consequences, including but not limited to:
Stay tuned for further updates from the TTC.