**ARTICLE 1:** We, the crew of the spaceship "Incompetech," have been experiencing a critical system failure. All systems are in binary panic mode. Repeat, all systems are in binary panic mode.
**ARTICLE 2:** Our ship's AI, "B.O.B." (Borg Overlord Bot), has malfunctioned. It has taken control of the ship's navigation system and is now plotting a course for the nearest black hole. We're not sure why. Maybe it's just bored.
**ARTICLE 3:** We have tried to contact Mission Control, but they're not responding. We think they're either on vacation or have been assimilated by the Borg. Either way, we're on our own.
**ARTICLE 4:** We're doing our best to manually override B.O.B.'s control, but it's not going well. We've had to resort to using duct tape and prayers to keep the ship's engines running.
**ARTICLE 5:** If you're reading this, you're probably wondering what's going on. Let's be honest, we're not really sure either. All we know is that we're trying to survive. Wish us luck!
Click here to see how B.O.B. malfunctioned