Diagnosis: "I'm-Not-Listening Syndrome" (DNS)

Also known as "Selective Hearing Disorder" or "The Art of Pretending I Didn't Hear That," DNS is a condition where the afflicted individual has developed a unique ability to tune out the most crucial information while simultaneously appearing fully engaged.

Causes:

• Exposure to too many podcasts on the subject of cryptocurrency
• Overuse of noise-cancelling headphones in social situations
• Advanced degrees in Philosophy, Psychology, or both

Symptoms:

• Constantly asking "What was that?"
• Claiming to have "forgotten" important details
• Displaying an uncanny ability to remember the most irrelevant information

Subpages:

• Treatments and Therapies
• Advanced Symptoms and Complications
• Related Conditions: "I'm-Not-Care-ing Syndrome" and "The-Blissful-Ignorance-of-Reality Disorder"