Avocado Smoobie of the Day

Today we're makin' a SMOOTHIE OF CHAMPIONS, and it's gonna be a real game-changer. You're talkin' avocados, bananas, and a splash of that sweet, sweet desperation.

Here's the recipe:

• 2 ripe avocados (don't @ me)
• 3 bananas (frozen, because who needs texture?)
• 1 tablespoon of that fancy-pants honey
• 1/4 cup of that one weird cousin's weird milk

Blend it all together, then drink it down like it's your duty as a functioning adult. Side effects may include: regret, confusion, and a faint sense of accomplishment.

Phase 3: The Reckoning